17th May 2024 / Written by Alex
Category: Mindset
Have you ever watched a motivational video? How did you feel afterwards? Probably somewhat motivated if the video was any good. But what were you motivated for? What was your driving force? Or were you just trying to finish a boring task? The next question would be: How long did your motivation last? A week? A day? Or maybe just an hour? That's the thing, isn't it? Motivation doesn't last. It's like trying to hold on to a fistful of sand while you go about your day. After some time, it's all gone. And then what? You probably look for the next motivational kick. This is how motivational gurus make lots of money. They can fill an entire stadium with energy and people feel super great leaving the seminar or big event and after a couple of days or even just a couple of hours... gone. People fall back into their usual behaviors they always had. And nothing really changes in their lives. Yeah, ok, some people may actually change some things in their lives after participating in a big T.R. event but the percentage is small. A video or a 'How to stay motivated'-seminar will take you through some unpleasant tasks or the next couple of unpleasant days at work but that's it. Then you're just back at 'it sucks again'. And that's the point: Motivation sucks. It's not motivation what you need but something totally different!
When I think back to my times at university there were multiple occasions in which I really needed to force myself through something really boring. There were lectures and tests I didn't really want to study but I had to. I just had to in order to get my bachelors and masters degree in engineering. But was that my motivator? That I had a goal? Goals don't always motivate you but sometimes they keep you working through things that bored you to death. But why did I set those goals? I always had an image of an easier life in mind with more money and no hard physical work that I knew from my parents. So that's like a goal behind a goal. That's what really kept me going and not getting some degrees. And let's be honest, the purpose of most things we work on is to provide a great future for ourselves. Keep that in mind next time to need to work through a boring study, prepare for a test or do something absolutely awful at work. Tell yourself: "Yes, this sucks right now but it will get me closer to my goals!". And now I'll get to my next point.
Most people walk through life without even having goals. They just live day to day. Every day. They go to work, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat and enjoy a little free time on the weekends. That's it. They live like ants in a hive. If you were to ask them why they do what they do they'd struggle with an answer. Ants serve their queen with food and those people serve the government with their taxes. So, if you have a set of goals in life, you're already different from those people. But have you ever wondered about the reason you have those goals? A goal is no reason to do something. It's just like a destination where you want to arrive but the place you want to go to is not the reason you want to go there, is it? Why do you go to a restaurant? Because you're probably hungry. Why do you go the movies? Because you want to watch the newest blockbuster. But why do you set goals like getting a degree or getting a sports car someday? Why do you really set these goals?
And there is your keyword! WHY! If you don't have a strong WHY in life you just have a bunch of meaningless goals. It's like driving around in your car from one place to another for no reason burning fuel and money. Sounds pretty dumb, right? You really need to know your "why". And that's way easier said than done. I'd suggest you take a long walk somewhere alone (leave your phone at home - no distractions) and deep dive into your mind. Think about your life, your past, your future and your goals. What is the "why" for your goals? You'll find your answer in your past, future or both. Most of the time your "why" has been set subconsciously but sometimes it is created in a very specific moment. And when that happens it will be one of the strongest "whys" there is.
If you've have read the books from M.J. DeMarco you probably know what I'm talking about. He calls it the "Fuck This Event", short FTE. It is the very moment in which you realize that your life sucks really bad and that you hate it, that you've always hated it. It is a moment where you make a strong decision for change! Your anger and hate become motivators for change. It's like as if you suddenly have a great urge to go somewhere else but you don't know where and more importantly you don't really know why besides changing your current situation. And you realize that all this time you've been lying to yourself, telling yourself things like "oh, this shitty job is just temporary" or "I'm fine with the amount of money I have" while it's been 5 years now and you're still driving around in a car that barely holds up. Or worse you have a car to show off that put you into a lot of debt. But you just "needed" it, right? You know, it's normal to lie to yourself. Our brains do this trying to make sense of the world and our subconscious has its own goals. It's not that it is working against us but it has goals that have evolved to optimize our behavior for survival. For example, when there is enough food and other resources your brain tries to make you lazy. There is no need to go out and hunt and burn calories. Better save up on calories in case there won't be food for a couple of days. Our subconscious doesn't know that there will always be more to consume. Our brains still run on stone age mode. My point: The more you're satisfied, the less need or motivation you have for change. "I'm fine" is enough to keep someone lethargic. So, even though you may have a "why" in your life or you're angry about your current situation you may fall back from the strongest FTE. That's why you also need something else that keeps you going.
Our brains love two things really much, sugar and dopamine. And they are always focused on the short-term dopamine kick, the instant gratification. That's why people keep scrolling and scrolling through posts on their favorite apps. Any time you see something interesting or funny a little bit of dopamine is released. Every time you eat something sweet, dopamine! Every time you have sex or jerk off, dopamine! Every time you do something that gives you some form of pleasure, dopamine! That's what the feeling of pleasure actually is. This means people can get addicted to anything that triggers their dopamine release. Food, gaming, sex, cars, gambling, even sports, social media or just anything you can think of. And now imagine you live in a world full of instant gratifications, you have an FTE and make big plans for change and whatnot and now you're sitting there and you're supposed to work on the changes in your life without instant gratification, without dopamine kicks? Wow, that sucks. Big changes in your life usually require a lot of effort and work without seeing results for a long, long time. You'd need to work through tasks that are necessary for your goals and the only person holding you responsible for all of it is... you! No boss, no university professor, no teacher, no parent, no friend, no spouse, no one but you! So, who would even know if you suddenly threw your big plans back out of the window and go back to food, gaming, social media and the rest? It so damn easy to leave everything as it is and do nothing. And it is so damn hard to achieve success and money. I said you needed something else that keeps you going. Here it is: Inhuman discipline! Almost inhuman. After all there are rich, successful people. But now you know why there are only so few. They have inhuman discipline.
But now you're wondering: How the F do I achieve inhuman discipline? I'll try to give you a short answer because the long one wouldn't fit on a blogpost. A good start is always to read books from people who are where you want to be. If you want books about mindset and entrepreneurship start with the books from M.J. DeMarco. Then throw in some books to learn how to sell like "Cashvertising", "Breakthrough Copywriting" and "Copywriting Secrets". After that it depends if you're wanting to start an online business then check out the books from Russel Brunson. If you're more into platform or app development then I'd recommend "Hooked" by Nir Eyal. And don't skip classics like "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki or "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. If you're telling me now that you're not into reading then I have bad news. Yes, you can listen to the audiobook versions but you're not as focused and you won't take away as much compared to reading in quiet. Also make sure that you're using a highlighter pen. This way you're really working through the books marking everything that's important to you. And you'll be able to skim through the books really quickly again reading only the most important information if you need to. But all of that is only the beginning. Next would be to execute and this is where most people fail. Don't make the mistake to read book after book before you start to execute! As you know, the best time to begin working on your new life was yesterday, last week, last month and last year. Imagine where you'd be today when you would have started a year ago. Where would you be when you would have started five years ago? If you need help just consider a coaching. We'll analyze where you are and where you want to go and we'll make a plan together to get you kickstarted! So, if you're sincere about it then please feel free to apply for a coaching or have a look at our online courses.
TLDR: Stop wasting your life and start to execute, now!
Stay Awesome
Alex