28th June 2023 / Written by Alex
Category: Online Dating
With online dating came the hope for many people to quickly and easily find a partner. But is it really that simple? You tried online dating before, I'm sure. And you may have had success here and there or maybe you didn't have success at all. But what's success in online dating? Well, it depends on what you're looking for. Are you looking just for hook ups or are you seeking a deep and meaningful relationship? The prior is not that hard to find online, the latter is way harder to find though. To save your time and energy, here is a list of red flags which indicate to abort contact immediately. Stick to them and you'll avoid all toxic and negative women you may encounter online.
What does somebody do if he or she is seriously looking for a relationship? He or she takes time to fill out the online profile as good as possible so that the other person gets an idea of who he or she is dealing with. If her profile shows only little pieces of information and is not from yesterday then be assured, she is not there to find a new relationship. Her reasons may vary though. She could be curious or she has absolutely no idea how to describe herself. Whatever reason she has, don't waste your time on her. I already here you say "But Alex, what if she is really pretty?". Well, then go for it but be super careful not to invest too much time.
Who doesn't know the people who constantly complain about their problems and their life. They talk about how hard their life is and that nobody has problems like them. If you encounter a woman who is constantly complaining then abort the contact. She will drain you of your energy. She will suck you dry and not in the good way. These women are the great victims within their world view and everybody else is against them. Of course, that's just what they think to be true. You might fall for someone like that and you might think you can "save" her. You can't. You won't. People who view themselves as victims do not want to be saved. They want to drown in their own sorrow. They need it desperately. If a white knight came to their rescue, they'd throw him of his horse and kick him in the nuts. Don't be that guy!
At first one might think "What the f?", right? And I'm not talking about simply mentioning that she is writing or dating other guys while she is texting and dating you. That should be ok with grownups. It takes time to get exclusive and up until then you have to reckon that she is dating other guys as well. But it's the same for you. The is no rule that prohibits dating multiple people at the same time until it gets exclusive with someone. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about women who tell you in detail who they are dating, what they did with those guys, what those guys are texting her and so on. Super weird, right? What is her intention? People usually do this to make someone else jealous. Be assured that she sends your texts to all the other guys as well. Weak beta males fall for it and throw compliments at her giving her the maximum amount of validation. These guys cling more and more and she just loves it. She needs as much validation as she can get. This is her strategy to get it. As an AlphaMale you don't fall for that. You see through her game and you recognize that this woman is not looking for a relationship. Again, abort! Abort now!
As soon as possible you will be pushed into a relationship. Sometimes after three dates or after one date and other times before you even meet. Do you see the huge red flag I'm waving here? Get out! Now! This behavior stems either from maximum insecurities because you are dealing with a beta female or she has "Torschlusspanik". The fear of closing gates. In the Middle Ages the gates were closed at dawn and who was not back in time was left outside to be robbed or killed. Her closing gates are her fears of not finding a husband and having kids. Either way, both types push men into relationships as fast as possible to seal the deal. Needy beta males fall into this trap. They get pulled into relationships with women they don't really know. And before they even realize it, they are invested and it gets harder and harder to leave although they might not be happy. As an AlphaMale you won't let yourself be pushed into a relationship without dating for a couple of weeks or months and without having a good feeling of knowing that woman well enough.
Sometimes you agree to date and you allocate your time and something really gets in your way without you being able to shift it. It happens to everybody. So, if she cancels your date shortly before then it's not immediately a red flag. Still, pay attention to her reason for canceling. Does it make sense? Does it sound plausible? Or does it sound more like an excuse? If it sounds like an excuse then just be cautious but don't address it. Schedule a second date and see how she behaves. If she cancels again with a cheap excuse then it's up to you if give her a third chance or not. But as an AlphaMale your time is valuable to you. After all you could have dated a woman that would have had shown up.
If you're seriously looking for a relationship, you'll run into a wall with this one. Even if you're looking for a hook up, I have to disappoint you. This woman is neither interested in finding a new partner nor in a one-night stand. The only thing she wants to do is talk. Mostly about herself. She writes huge walls of text blabbering about just anything. And she won't ask you a thing about you because she does not give a damn about you. Beta males are easy prey for her since they think that a woman is interested in them if they get lots and lots of texts. But never will anything happen with her. She just has the need to talk and nobody to talk to in real life. But online she has plenty of men listening to her noise. Again, don't waste your time with this one. Move on.
Sensitive topic. Maybe her ex was a jerk and she left him. But maybe she was unbearable and he left her. You don't know. Either way she will talk badly about him so don't expect any valid information from her regarding her ex. You know if you also have kids, it's totally normal to talk about your kids with her. Kids are a big part of both of your lives so that's totally fine. But let's say you don't have kids and she only talks about her kids with you although you tried to switch the topic multiple times then I need to wave the red flag again. Maybe you know where this is going already. She might desperately be looking for a father replacement for her kids. She may have totally different reasons for it but the important thing for you to consider is "Do you want to take on that role?". If yes, then it's fine but you need to clarify things upfront. If you're not looking to take on that role but you'd like to date her anyway then you also need to tell her. Then you will see if she is fine with it or not. If she is then she will try to leave the kids topic on the side. If she is not, she might stop texting or dating you. That's ok, too. Either way you don't fall into traps taking on roles you didn't want in the first place.
You see it's not always easy filtering out the ones that will waste your time and energy. But now you have a rough guideline where to start and what red flags you need to consider.
Stay Awesome
Alex