22nd June 2023 / Written by Alex
Category: Mindset
Seriously, is it really that simple? Can you really divide all men into two groups? Of course not. It's better to think of it as a continuous spectrum. On one end are the stereotypical beta males and on the other end are the Alphas. In between are all men who are currently in learning and transitioning phase. But does that make it valid? No. But something else does. Let's look at the animal kingdom and then we talk about human development.
It doesn't matter if you look at gorillas, lions, wolfs or elephants. Animals who live in groups or packs have a leader. It's a leader the group trusts and respects and even relies on. They are the ones who dominate and procreate, who decide and provide. They are the ones the others respect and trust. And they are the ones who betas try to overthrow.
Now you might say: Alex, that's all fine but what the heck does it have to do with humans? And that's a valid question. Because one might think we are highly developed and that we've left our animal past behind. In some sense that's true. Our social and political structures evolved a great deal compared to a pack of wolfs. So, this Alpha-Beta concept does not apply to those topics for sure. But what about social behavior? What about all those things that come from deep within?
Science says that our brains did not really change from when homo sapiens showed up hundreds of thousands of years ago. Ok, then let's have a look at how people lived back then regarding the male-female dynamics. They lived in small groups and their main concerns were gathering resources, having shelter and being protected from enemies. There were men who led the groups. They went hunting and provided resources. They made political decisions and fought off enemies. They cared for others, had a vision for the future and radiated a calmness. All these are things that women are programmed to be attracted to. Of course, in a very general sense.
Think about it. Let's look at each point. Today's resources are mostly money. If you had two guys with the same personality and they only differ in the amount of money they make. Which one would a woman pick? The one with no money or the one with a lot of money? Political or let's say social influence needs confidence and charisma. Would a woman rather pick someone who is confident or someone who is insecure? Fighting of enemies is today's fit guy. I'm not talking about bodybuilders but guys who take care of their body and are sporty. This one depends a lot on whether she is sporty or not but again, two guys who only differ in body shape. Would a woman rather pick the skinny one or the one in shape?
Caring for others are traits women look for when thinking about potential fathers for their offspring. A certain amount of selflessness is especially attractive for women in their late 20s and early 30s who plan on having children. And what about calmness? Would a woman rather pick an impulsive often aggressive type of guy or someone who stays calm even in the most stressful situations? The latter tells her that she can rely on him. And the last point is a plan or a vision for the future. Imagine you're on a date and she asked you "What does your future look like?" and you say "I don't know, just chillin and hanging out, I guess. Playing videogames. Basically, it's no different than today". Now imagine she is on another date and asks that guy and he says "Well regarding my career I'm looking to get a leading position in the next 5 years. And I'd really like to travel to Australia and New Zealand since I totally fell in love with their landscapes. Oh, and when I find the right woman, I guess I'd like to have kids someday." Which one is more attractive to her?
Do you get the point? Yes, you don't have to go hunting today but you have to make money to provide for yourself and your kids. You don't have to fight off enemies but that does not mean you should get fat or stay skinny. You don't have to make political decisions for the survival of a group but you may want that leading position at your job or you already lead a team and you need them to respect you. They won't if you lack confidence and charisma. Today you won't have to take care about the needs of your tribe but you might have a family someday. The core principles remain. That's how I would apply the Alpha-Beta concept in today's world. Keep in mind, it is just a model to explain what you have to say. Nothing more, nothing less. One can use different terms but the core principles remain.
Stay Awesome
Alex