1st June 2023 / Written by Alex
Category: Mindset
Humans have always been living in groups and we've evolved as a social species. Today our social groups mostly consist of three types, family, friends and coworkers. Our family gives us emotional support and we know we can always fall back to family members when we need help. Coworkers support us at work with their skills and knowledge. But what are friends for? On the surface it's pretty obvious. You spend your free time with them, do activities and have fun. They can also be there if you need help for example if you need to move or to borrow money when your wallet is dry. But the most important thing we humans do and have always done from the early moments our language developed is exchanging our thoughts with each other. It was those moments when two or three people sat by the campfire and night ten thousand years ago and they were wondering about the stars and the gods. They were staring into the fire and they were making plans. They were telling each other their observations and ideas they had gathered. And suddenly someone said that he noticed how plants were growing after sticking seeds into the ground. And everyone else was immediately inspired and ideas were coming up in their heads. If your friends are likeminded and have the same worldview as you then you move into the same direction but what if things change?
What if you get inspired by something that totally fascinates you. This idea or this new view grows in your head from a little spark into a flame spewing tornado. And then you begin to change and naturally you tell your friends about it and you hope they will hop onto the hype train with you. But what happens most of the time? They don't understand you. They just don't get what fascinates you so much that you can't stop talking about it. You read this blog and I assume you have had enough blue pills. You want to learn the truth about male-female-dynamics. You want to learn the truth about AlphaMale traits and behaviors. And you want to learn the truth about how women really think and act. You realized that you need to forget your indoctrination and everything you believed up to this point. You finally decide to take the red pill and you glimpse into true reality. But people who haven't had this experience will not understand you. Change and progress requires effort. And usually, we're programed to avoid effort. So, people like their status quo. They don't want to change! They want to remain stuck and they tend to get annoyed when you try to fire them up as well. And now there will be a conflict.
You are friends and you may have history. Your friend or friends will notice that you're changing and in order to not lose you they will try to slow you down or even pull you back into their way of thinking. They will try to diminish the truths that you have learned. And there is another type of people who talk about big things they're going to do someday. They talk about places they want to visit or businesses they want to start. But do they show any signs of effort or that they put work into what they say? No, because these people are eternal dreamers. Don't let yourself being pulled back by these people because they will never leave their current lives. It's just too comfortable. But if you really like your friends, then the only thing you can do is to confront them and ask whether they'd like to change with you, to develop their personalities and to learn and grow and make big plans and really act on them. And if they refuse you may need to cut them off. These people may be toxic to your development and affect your energy in a negative way. It sounds harsh but the reason for it is really simple.
Friendships should always provide additional value to each other's lives. If only one side is hyped and full of energy then the other side will drain that energy because if you're a couple of steps above your friends in your development you will try to pull them up and they will try to pull you down. You cannot grow in this constellation. If you are really serious about changing, growing and moving forward and your friends are not then you simply need new friends. Easier said than done, I know. You may have heard the quote "You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with". This means you need to find people who share your new believes and who are a couple of steps above you in their development. If these people try to pull you up to where they are and you are willing to get up there as well then you increase your development speed and add a lot of value to your life. But at this point you need to ask yourself an important question. Why would somebody spend time with you who is way ahead of you? So, you need to find something that you can provide to their lives. You need to go to places where likeminded people who want to grow and improve meet. You get into conversations and you ask them if they're willing to get you into their circle and help you to grow. And of course, you ask what you could offer them in exchange. You'd be surprised how willing people will be to help you out. To conclude, never stop learning and growing. Never be satisfied with the person you are. Always strive for improvement. There is this saying: "Hell is like meeting the best person you could have been and heaven is meeting the same person but realizing you're looking into a mirror."
Stay Awesome
Alex