15th May 2023 / Written by Alex
Category: Dating
Now, I could say something like "It's not about what you wear but how you wear it" but would that help you in any way? I guess not. Then let's have a deeper look into things. First of all, women weigh looks and personality different than men. Men put equal or more weight on looks than on personality. For women it is the other way around. But why?
The answer lies in our past. Women can only have a limited number of children. And those children need to be looked after. So, their brain is programmed to trade off genetics for faithfulness and a strong AlphaMale personality who can provide and protect because this will mean a higher chance of survival for her offspring. Men are not limited on the number of children they can have. We're programmed to put emphasis on genetics. That's just the way it is. Of course, you might say "Alex, I'm not that shallow". That's your rational mind talking. That's what society tried to program you with. But it will never change your basic programming that resides deep in your brain. Same goes for women. If you think anything else you lie to yourself. If you want it or not, it's true.
Back to clothes. Of course, tastes differ here a lot. Some women may prefer the business guy in the suit. Some women prefer the casually dressed guy. And women who are into metal may prefer the guy in the black trench coat with long black hair. It is not always easy to guess what a woman prefers. Sometimes you can derive some information from the way she is dressed but what about women who are dressed for office having tattoos all over their body that are covered by their clothing. They might prefer the tattooed guy in the brown leather jacket who rides his Harley on weekends. My point is tastes differ a lot when it comes to style and clothing and you should be careful when you try to guess what she might be into.
The next important point about clothes is that they communicate social status. Let's have look at two total opposites. A guy wearing a suit communicates something totally different than a construction worker in his working outfit. That's obvious right? But what about how they dress in their free time when they go out? The white-collar guy might wear something casual while the construction worker puts on a shirt and nice shoes. What do they communicate now? This is important when you dress up for dates. Think about the social status you want to communicate with your clothes and try not to fake anything that you're not.
I'm not saying a construction worker is not allowed to wear shirts. But it might hurt his chances. Let's assume he is out for drinks in a bar. He sees a good-looking woman. She smiles at him and he decides to approach her. If he is super neatly dressed like he just came out of the office she immediately creates an image of him in her head. Is he a banker? Or does he trade with stocks or maybe he is an insurance guy? Who knows? They start talking and then he mentions what his job is and now there is dissonance in her brain. This means conflicting information are processed. Dissonance leads to stress and she is confused. Same scenario but the guy is wearing a t-shirt with emphasis on his big arms. He approaches her and she immediately creates a totally different image in her head of him. An image that will not lead to dissonance in her brain when he tells her what he does for a living. Now she might even picture him naked after noticing his arms. Do you get my point? So please improve your chances by dressing up accordingly and putting emphasis on what you got.
The most important thing here is, that you feel comfortable in your clothes. A guy wearing flipflops, an old t-shirt and torn pants and who is confident and comfortable in his clothes is way more attractive for women than a guy wearing a suit and that is shy and always looking down. That means just find your style that you're comfortable with. Don't wear something you think you should wear on a date but wear something that you feel like yourself in. If you wear something you don't usually wear you might get nervous and self-conscious and she will notice it. No experiments here. Just wear your best clothes that you feel comfortable with and everything will work out fine.
Stay Awesome
Alex